Angst: a strong feeling of worry about what you should do, how you should behave, or what will happen in the future
Animosity: a feeling of ill will arousing active hostility
Whether you’re living and working with a lot of apathy, angst and/or animosity or a newcomer to their life-sucking properties you can re-capture energy and soothe yourself plus increase your happiness.
Make the effort and bring your A-Game.
In this article:
You’ll get 3 examples of how to soothe your apathy, angst and/or animosity with attention, acceptance, and appreciation– your A-Game.
Here’s how you do it…
1— Make the effort to soothe apathy with attention.
Apathy is a state of mind or mood (the I don’t care…) which deserves attention.
It can show up as a dominant reaction when suffering depression or as a behavioral response (often surprising) to whatever is undesirable in your life—usually something you feel protective around.
An executive is aware his wife is unhappy with his resistance to personal reflection (journaling) and scheduling time together for regular, meaningful conversations around an issue which is critical to their marital health. Her belief is that he doesn’t make the effort because he doesn’t care about her.
Sounds like she may be right… right?
Not true he says. At the same time he wonders out loud why he is behaving as if he’s apathetic.
He understands why his wife thinks as she does. In fact, he did sit down for a few minutes to write. The words poured out. He felt better. It’s hard to get started– but necessary he admits.
He also realizes that his resistance is linked to the idea of being “scheduled.” For the past 30 years others have scheduled his time at work. Every week, every day, every hour.
Now, he’s making the schedule. That’s an important tweak to his thinking– he’s choosing to schedule his time rather than being scheduled by others.
Make the effort: Attending to your apathy can result in new insights to help tweak behaviors which make a big difference.
2— Make the effort to soothe angst with acceptance.
Thankfully, my client is alive to process the traumatic accident.
She’s been apologetic for seeking additional emotional help since she’s been able to return to work and completed the physical rehab sessions.
Looking at her you wouldn’t guess the horror she’s been through. Emotional pain is hard to see– or is it that emotional pain is hard to let ourselves see and feel?
My client has been training for a marathon race. Her injuries have set her back greatly. She’s beginning to jog again now– adding more time as she gains strength. She’s always worked through challenges and knows she will again.
Yet fear, flashbacks, and more irritation than usual lingers. It feels disturbing.
What does she say has been most helpful and freeing to her angst?
Acceptance. Accepting that while she survived and is getting better and better, she still struggles with angry, irritable feelings and sadness– and that’s okay.
Make the effort: Accept your thoughts and feelings regardless of whether you or anyone else thinks you should think or feel as you do. It’s your reality. For now, it’s your truth. Acceptance– always a good way to soothe feelings of angst to make room for new actions and healing.
3— Make the effort to soothe animosity with appreciation.
Soothing animosity with appreciation is so sweet when it happens! I know because it worked for me recently!
Firstly– it’s important that you breathe slowly and take a step back from any chaotic mix of feelings and inner chatter. This helps you view the source of animosity from a wider, deeper context calmly. By doing so the source of animosity fades or lessens to make room for other information to surface.
Here’s how it worked for me:
In a few seconds after my client volunteered his commitment to make more effort to listen fully to his relative rather than cutting him off because of his political views my grateful feelings (for his willingness to stretch) went up in smoke!
My client innocently in his next statement shared a popular personality he listens to regularly whom I detest.
Breathing deeply as I listened, I found my calm within, viewed my client’s overall demeanor with a wider context and found it easy to return to an appreciation for his genuine wish to improve relationships. My hostility wasn’t relevant to our work. My focus returned to my client. Oh so sweet!
Make the effort: Look beyond the source of animosity whether it is person, place or thing. Find something to appreciate. Remember to breathe through the emotional intensity. It helps a lot.
Here’s your takeaway:
You can soothe your apathy, angst and/or animosity. Make the effort to bring your attention, acceptance and appreciation- your A-Game.
I’m your coaching resource with a therapy background who would love to join your team!
Make the effort: Contact me today.