So the story goes…

A young woman who wanted to discover how to get wisdom, was told that a wise, older woman, who lived in a cave (of course) would certainly know the answer.

So, she found the older woman and asked, “Tell me please, how do I find and get wisdom?”

Looking up from her book, the older woman spoke,” By having good judgment of course.”

With brows furrowed, the younger woman now very curious, “But, how do I get good judgment?”

Older woman admiring her tenaciousness thoughtfully replies, “Well, my dear, through experience.”

Just about to leave, the young woman turns back and says, “But, excuse me, how do I get experience?”

Smiling, closing her book, the older woman answers,” Experience…that comes through bad judgment.”

Bad judgment.  All job seekers/crafters would be wise to identify lessons learned from using bad judgment, if they haven’t already.  We are all human and make mistakes.  Yet, mistakes are opportunities to increase effectiveness and efficiency while avoiding costly corrections… financially, professionally and personally.

Examples of some typical bad judgments and consequences occurring on the job scene include…

–Good, responsible, smart employees have published comments on Facebook when frustrated and gotten fired. Some job seekers have been removed from job consideration due to some content found on Facebook pages.

–Sometimes hasty, ill-considered remarks by one employee to another have resulted in additional workshops on sexual harassment, diversity, anger management and/or stress techniques among other disciplinary steps to stay employed.

–Some workers are lucky avoiding a formal write-up for insubordination, failure to complete tasks, etc.,  and escape being fired with a warning.

Previously in Part 1, fear of rejection was discussed with scientific understandings. Strategies for handling fear of rejection were offered in Part 2.

In Part 3…

Fear of rejection because of mistakes is discussed as Job Seekers/Crafters are given steps to take when bad judgment is recognized and habits to practice that prevent mistakes, tipping the scales with good judgment.

So, here are two important steps to take when you make mistakes because of bad judgment…

Step 1: Accept that you made a mistake. Don’t deceive yourself or try to deceive others by blaming someone else, ignoring the facts or distorting the reality. Own your mistake. Your integrity is intact.

Step 2: Learn from the experience. With head held up, take note on what you will do differently next time. Ruminating, self-flagellation is tempting, although diminishing in returns. It’s kind of like a rocking chair…you rock and rock and rock, but don’t get very far. 

And now, some habits that can help tip the scales towards good judgment…

==>Turn off the auto-pilot and be present.

Perk up and show up at 100%. Stop the mind from wandering off, thinking about the conversation you just had. Tune in to the task at hand, even when you’ve done it countless times.

==>Breathe between sentences or pause between steps.

Give yourself time by slowing down. Doing a task correctly the first time, saves time in the long run. Quality over speed.  Plan to slow down. Those seconds of caution may prevent some unwelcomed drama.

==>Stop multi-tasking.

We know that’s true. Yes, sometimes we get by…but the risk of dividing attention among tasks is dangerous at worst, distracting usually…for your comprehension and the other’s sense of importance. What’s it like for you when someone you are talking to is doing several things while supposedly listening?  Think about it.  Be honest.

==>Know your “hot” buttons.

We all have them. Do your own “clearing”. Finish the sentence at least 10 times: I’m frustrated/angry/tired of…   Knowing your own issues, right or wrong, good or bad, helps you be the chooser vs the reactor when the issues show up.

The takeaway is…

Recognize that the mistakes made and lessons learned are a part of what makes us wiser (and more interesting) as  job seekers/job crafters. We’re more valuable to future employers and customers alike.

Developing as workers and frankly, human beings, includes lessons from bad judgment and sometimes the rejection that follows…probably among our best teachers.

Those are essential secrets to successfully handling fears of rejection.

Look forward to Part 4…”How to Become Rejection Proof While Job Seeking/Crafting.”  I am. 😉

I would be interested in learning, how mistakes have helped you be more successful?


Join me at a Love My Work Strategy Session today.  I’m interested in learning about your job efforts. Let’s make all of your experiences count towards making that dream work a reality!